Brrrrrrrrrr!

Is it worse for the high to be -5 or for the low to be -25? After weeks of having "cold" fronts be shorter and warmer than predicted, winter came with a vengeance. Our highs have been below freezing for a week now and will stay that way for several more days. Our lows, of course, have been below zero for much of that time - but yesterday and last night were the coldest for this cold front! Thank goodness for heat, big fluffy (that's what I call my winter coat), and front wheel drive.

Think Pink

Before I get to the sweet, funny story I'll give you as much of an update as I have. I have only spoken with Amy once, briefly on the phone, since the ultrasound. She was doing a little traveling. We are trying to find a day when we can have her over for dinner so she and Michael can meet. Our home study has been moved back to January because of scheduling conflicts with our social worker's surgery. No worries though, as long as we are approved before our little Lairdlette is born we'll be just fine. Now on to the story.

Before we knew about Amy and our baby girl, Michael kept saying he wanted a boy (I don't know too many expectant fathers who don't). We had picked out nice unisex paint and fabric to decorate the nursery - green and brown, like mint chocolate chip ice cream :) So, Michael's mom came up and painted the nursery. While she was busy making one wall brown and three walls green, Michael decided that we needed pink - and in a big way! First he suggested that we paint one wall pink and when I wrinkled my nose he suggested the ceiling! I was adamantly instructed that now that we knew we were having a girl this room needed pink. I finally convinced him that pink stripes would do the job. Then on to recovering the crib bumper that was given to us - he doesn't care how I do it as long as there's pink. He did a warp speed jump from being scared of having a girl to becoming an interior decorator who's favorite color is pink :) I love it and I love him and think he's so cute and sweet. (He adores it when I describe him with those adjectives.)

No One Can Weave a Better Story than God

About this time last year Michael and I decided that we would start pursuing adoption. After the New Year we put out a couple of feelers and requested information from several different adoption agencies. Catholic Social Services of Montana was an easy pick for us - they responded so quickly and with so much information and excitement. We started filling out the application forms they sent us and got them turned back in at the beginning of March. A couple of weeks later we received an invitation to attend their adoption workshop at the end of April. Some other things in our lives were pretty turbulent at that time, but God gave us a peace about pursuing this. We were even more excited and sure when we left the workshop. We gave ourselves until July to fill out all of our paperwork. Then, at the end of May, Michael resigned his pastoral position. This was a really hard time and made it especially hard for Michael to do the soul-searching and self-evaluation that was required for filling out all of the adoption paperwork. During this time God had to constantly remind me against striving - working hard, becoming anxious, nagging Michael to finish his stuff - none of those things were going to make a difference in our adoption because the whole thing was in His hands. Finishing sooner, finishing later - it wasn't going to make a difference because it would all happen in His timing - no matter what. After missing several other deadlines we set for ourselves, it was actually going to happen by Michael's birthday, Friday, November 6th. I usually have Wednesdays off from work, but that week I had jury duty on Tuesday so that was my day off. That meant that I was "randomly" at home on Tuesday afternoon when Barb called. (Barb is a neighbor who lives several miles north of us. We had gotten to know one of her daughters, Leah and Leah's husband Danny when they visited the church in Columbus. They only visited for a little while but we kept in touch and hung out every once in a while. We actually met Barb when she visited with them. We have hunted on their ranch a couple of times and Michael has gone up to help Danny and Barb's husband Al with ranch things a couple of times.) Barb told me that this phone call would be weird and then told me that another daughter (Amy) was pregnant and wanted us to adopt her baby! (Remember, this is 3 days before we mailed off the last of our application paperwork!) I didn't even know what to say! I gave her the number for Catholic Social Services and told her how wonderful they were. Michael and I must have held our breaths for days wondering if this would really be real. I had a rough day at work on Monday but when I got home Michael told me I needed to listen to our voice messages. Amy had left a message inviting me to come to her ultrasound appointment on Wednesday! I couldn't even believe it! It is one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I could see her (yes, she's a girl) heart beating (143 beats per minuet) and her spine and ribs, her hands and feet in constant motion. . . She was 20 weeks and 4 days, the technician said, and 13 oz. Her due date is 3/27/10. Amy and I went out to lunch afterward to get to know each other. She had told me on the phone that she hoped we liked music because she thinks the baby does. Music? Us? There are so many other details that I can't remember all at once and would just sound like babbling anyway. I thank you from a distance for all your excitement and prayers on our behalf. Here are some specific things you can be praying for: for Amy - it seems that she is far from the Lord and not interested in coming closer, for safety and health for Amy and our first little Lairdlette, for God's hand and will in all of this. Also, we still have to have our homestudy and be approved, but out social worker is so wonderful and keeps telling us that it won't be a big deal. Nothing can be officially official until 72 hours after she is born and Amy signs the papers. We know that nothing is too big for God and we believe that this baby will be our first, but we are also aware of our weakness as humans and that God's ways are not ours and what we consider to be a perfect ending may not be His plan for us. We are focused right now on getting approved, preparing for Baby and ministering to Amy. We appreciate your prayers, love and support. Stay tuned for more updates.

Random Thoughts

It actually feels like early Fall today instead of Winter. Had a great time at a Women's Worship Night last night and I'm taking a break from running errands right now. Michael's been out hunting since yesterday morning - ducks, geese and 1 pheasant that I know of so far. I've been kind of emotional this weekend for unknown reasons; I hope that passes soon because it's exhausting! Been doing some shopping for Michael's birthday (keeping my eye out for Christmas ideas, too). I'm enjoying choir rehearsals for the Living Christmas Tree (it's been so long!) and can't wait to see Michael's family in Texas for Christmas. We're trying to finish up our adoption paperwork and getting ready to start work on a nursery. Please pray for us for patience (I know, we're not supposed to pray for that) as we wait for God to show us what he has next for us. We know we're doing what we should be doing right now but also know that it is not our end destination. That's all I've got for now. Love you all.

Gratitude

It's not just a feeling. It can be cultivated even in tough circumstances; it can be a product of a conscious effort of the mind and heart. I have seen this demonstrated so much in Michael these past few weeks. He likes driving the bus and working in the chemical building at the fireworks plant, but the days he has to work in other building he does kind of mindless, unchallenging assembly line work which makes him think things like "what am I doing here, I have a Master's degree." He is very careful to repent of thoughts like these on the spot and remind himself that a month ago he didn't have a job. It our times of prayer he has never failed to thank God for the work He has provided; and his thanks is with a genuinely thankful and humble heart. The leader of a Bible study I am in told us a few weeks ago about how she intentionally thanks her husband several times a week for going to work to provide for their family; she tells him what a blessing that is to her. I've tried to start doing the same thing - especially as he is currently working at jobs that would not be his top pick. I'm hoping that it is an encouragement to him like his gratitude is an encouragement to me.

Weather Wiplash Again

So, we've been hotter than Atlanta for over a week now, temps reaching 89 last week. We cooled off a little over the weekend and into Monday in the mid-70s. Back up t0 80-something on Tuesday. And today? High of 48 and raining a constant drizzle! I heard a rumor that the high on Monday will be 26, but I'll have to see it to believe it. I'll keep you posted. Hope you all are enjoying the Fall weather wherever you are. Love you.

WORK

Yeah, Michael has at least one job, maybe two. He will start his own bus route on Tuesday and hopefully the pyrotechnics plant in town will work around his schedule and he will be able to work in between driving the bus. This avoids the dreaded drive back and forth to Billings to work (nothing really would have paid enough to make it worth it with the gas and all.) Michael is looking forward to helping with the income and having some of the pressure off so we can focus on what God wants next. Thanks, Lord. And thanks for all your prayers.

Church

We've been invited and are excited to stay at the church where we've been helping out with music this summer. We are looking forward to getting involved. I've also started praying that God will plant a church in our hearts - maybe it's this one, maybe it's one that isn't even started yet, but I'm praying that God will start preparing us for where He will have us minister next.

Psalms Revelation

I've had issues with the book of Psalms in the past. Weird, I know. I obviously love the happy, praising ones but have had a hard time wrapping myself around all the "death and destruction to my enemies" ones. It doesn't seem very New Testament "love your enemies" to me. As I was reading the other day, though, I received a new perspective. The Israelites were God's chosen people. David was God's chosen leader, a man after God's own heart. Perhaps he identified himself so totally with this position that he considered any affront to himself and attack on God's purposes and therefore was seeking the destruction of God's enemies as he asked God for the destruction of his own enemies. Are you following me?

So then, how might that apply to my life. I'm sure there are many applications, but the first one I came up with concerns a job for Michael. Michael is a man of God. He is known in our community as a pastor (currently without church). So I am praying for God to provide him a job where he can continue to minister in this community but also to provide in such a way that the community can see that God is taking care of us - that he does not let His people go un-provided-for. Pretty much a "bless us for the sake of Your Name" deal. It's very biblical - read Psalms. I have a new joy in reading them myself now that I have this new perspective.

Let me know what you think.

Love you.

God is SO good!

As Michael continues to look for a job, I was looking forward to the day when I would be able to thank and praise God on this blog for His faithfulness in providing a job for Michael. Then I realized that God is good even when Michael doesn't have a job. God is faithful and is providing and is loving and is good. These are who He is and these things are true about Him despite our circumstances. I am still looking forward to being able to share the news of a job with you all, but I didn't want to fail to praise God for WHO He is even while we wait.

Hoping you are learning more about God and loving Him more every day,
Christina

Flashback

I will begin by inviting my family (especially Daddy and Anita) to correct and/or fill in any details of this story.

So, we were in the truck, getting ready to leave the house today when Michael remembered that he needed something from inside. He jumped out of the driver's seat, closed the door and as he was running up the front steps, I realized that the truck was moving forward! - toward the garage!

I flash back to a time from my childhood when Anita and I had gone somewhere with Daddy. It was some store on some highway that had a sloped driveway. He left the truck on so we wouldn't get hot and he was close enough that we could seen him talking to a man from where we sat. As a children, I as a scaredy-cat and Anita was a dare-devil. So she leans over me in the middle and bumps the truck into reverse and we start rolling backwards toward the traffic. We are all hysterical and sobbing and don't know that you have to pull the gear shift toward you just a little to make it work. We push and push up and up. I mostly remember thinking that she shouldn't touch it, then being afraid, then I have a picture of her red, crying face when we couldn't fix it. I don't remember how Daddy saved us, but he did.

Thankfully, I know a little more about vehicles now than I did then. I jammed the truck into park about the time Michael made it back to the driver's side door. Whew!

Here's to childhood memories.
(I wonder if I will become disillusioned when people start to correct my memory of this story.)

Babies

Just scrolling through my "friends" on facebook, it seems like everyone I know has kids. Everyone except our friends who until recently didn't want children and our other friends who can't have children of their own but are fostering a teenager and hoping to adopt him. It's not so bad with people who were married when I lived in the same place as them, but randomly seeing facebook pictures of people who I still think of as single standing with their spouse and any number of children is hard.

Update

Well, we just spent 3 1/2 fun days with my parents. They DROVE from Atlanta to bring us my cradle so we will have it when the adoption thing finally happens. We are still working on paperwork and we have our appointment to be evaluated by a psychologist on July 29th. Michael continues to look for a job and is trying to keep himself busy studying the Word, working on the yard and getting involved with the music and youth ministries of Emmanuel Baptist Church. We are encouraging each other and looking for God to lead the way during this time. Thank you all for your prayers.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday and it is in the middle of my birthday week. Michael and I started celebrating birthday weeks a year or two ago. This birthday week he happens to be a counselor at youth camp, so he left me a present to open every day he is gone. On Monday I got one pink garden glove :) Can you guess what I got on Tuesday? Today I opened Alton Brown DVDs. I tell people that he is like the science geek of food; Michael actually saw publicity that called him Bill Nye the Science Guy meets the Food Network. I like his show Good Eats. Anyway, Michael's presents are coming with cryptic messages that so far sound like I have to put Alton Brown himself into some sort of kitchen machinery. We'll see, the boxes get bigger as the week goes on.

In other news, my friend Maureen had a small gathering of friends over for my birthday last night. Also my friend Sasha is spending the night on Friday while her husbands enjoys his annual 4th of July guys weekend. So, I'm keeping busy while Michael is gone and getting ready for my parents to get here on Sunday! Hopefully we'll be meeting both of them in South Dakota to see Mt. Rushmore together. We're all excited and Michael will be our bored tour guide (he's been there many times)

Please keep praying for Michael as he searches for a job and as we wait for God to reveal his leading. Also as we continue with our adoption paperwork.

We love you.

A Dilema

So, my problem now is how to talk to the people from church. I don't want to be too happy, like what you did is no big deal or I'm relieved to finally be gone. But I don't want to be too sad or depressed sounding, like you've totally destroyed us. I guess I've just been being normal except that it feels very awkward and I wonder if they feel it too.

Is it just me?

I feel bad about not keeping up with my blogging very well. Just ask my Aunt Chrissy - I'm pretty hard on myself. I am starting to not feel so bad about this anymore,though, because it seems that the only other person in my family that has posted a blog in months is my brother-in-law, Phillip. I'm just asking, because if my computer is somehow at fault and only allows me to see Phillip's blog and no one else's even though they are faithfully posting, I need to know so I can fix it. Help me out, fam :)

an update for anyone who happens to read this blog but is not someone I email

This is just a copy of some emails that I have sent recently updating family and friends on a really rough situation in our lives. I figure I'd record it here, too, just for posterity's sake.

5/20/09
I cannot remember if you were all included in the first e-mail I sent out concerning our church several months. Those of you who received the e-mail, your prayers and encouragement were needed and appreciated. The same and other issues have continued popping up their heads every time we seem to be making headway. At this point, I don’t even know if the people who are upset really know what they are upset about. For the second time in a couple of months, an individual has asked for Michael’s resignation. Michael, along with his mentor and our mother church, has decided to have the church take a “vote of confidence.” His main concern is for the health of the church. If they would be able to work through their issues and become strong and a light in the community better with out us, then we know that God will lead us somewhere else. The church will be voting on Sunday, May 24th, after our worship service. Michael and I will not stay for the vote. God has given us a peace no matter the vote, but please pray for the church. They were at the point of closing the doors 5 years ago, became a mission church of a healthy growing church in another city, and it now seems like they might fall apart again. There are many hurting families and individuals in our town who need to see the love of Jesus in action – I would hate for fighting in our church or the closing of its doors to negatively impact God’s work in our community. Thank you in advance for your prayers for us and our church.

6/6/09
I was talking to my Mom the other night telling her how much I was praying for the church but that I kept praying for myself, too, because I didn't want to be one of those people who could only point her finger at others and never see the log in my own eye. Well, God loves us so much that He will show us the logs in our own eyes. One of my friends who is also a member at Columbus told me about the church service they had had on our first Sunday gone. At the end of the service the two families that had been causing so much conflict publicly repented and reconciled! This is what we have been praying for! She told me the story with so much joy and excitement about what God might be starting and she thought it was important to tell me because she new that we had said that if it took us leaving for God to be able to move in the church then that is what we wanted. She left with a smile on her face and I stewed the rest of the day. I spent about 12 hours mad at God. I was angry. I mourned over what God was rejoicing over (repentance and reconciliation) and was rejoicing over what makes God mourn (I felt a little better after spewing my anger and bitterness in Michael's face). After I exploded I basically cried off an on for about two hours. As I numbly went about paying bills I came across a little book that I had "randomly" been carrying around in my purse for weeks, "The Sovereignty of God" by Kay Arthur. God used the truths in that book to calm my heart. I can now say that my spirit is submitted, even though I still don't understand. This is still a daily struggle. God showed me my own self-centeredness; I either prayed a prayer I didn't mean or I didn't think He would answer it or I only wanted Him to answer it on my terms. How messed up is that? I was more concerned about Michael's ministry being justified by the church floundering and suffering without him than I was about God actually working and being glorified in His church. It looks like our church is on the road to recovery, but it's not our church anymore. We are still trying to figure out where God wants us to be and what He wants us to be doing. We are taking it day by day and trusting God to show us what He has for us, but it's kind of scary and there are a lot of unanswered questions about our future. Thanks for your prayers. Oppinions and emotions expressed in this e-mail are those of Christina and should not be assumed to be those of Michael :)

6/11/09
Well, everyone, I wanted to give you all another fquick update. It's not a huge thing, pretty small really, but a big step, too. Sunday morning I woke up and almost the first thing I thought of was to pray for Columbus Baptist - and I was able to do it with a smile on my face. So, maybe I should have said "the first thing the Lord brought to my mind was. . ." We seem to be on a fairly OK path of Michael looking for "regular" work while we seek the Lord to see what He has for us next. Things are pretty even mostly, but I have to admit it was hard to hear about how well VBS has been going this week, it's hard when people come up and say they miss us, it was hard when I got a letter yesterday from a woman (who probably didn't vote "for" Michael) saying she missed my friendship and didn't want things to turn out this way and was praying for us. God uses Michael in ways he will never know (except that he'll get this email, too) to calm me and put my mind, if not totally back where it should be, then at least to take it off of where it shouldn't be. A specific prayer request that I have is that I would know how to respond to this woman. I miss her, too, but at the same time things in our friendship never really got below just surface stuff. I don't want to go ahead of God in this.

Harley Eugene Carrell

Harley Eugene Carrell passed away Wednesday, May 13, 2009 in Corpus Christi, Texas at the age of 82.

Mr. Carrell was born in Woodville, Oklahoma on August 20, 1926. His parents were Ben E. and Louisa (Wingo) Carrell. He was preceded in death by his parents and six siblings. Harley was married to Ruby Louise Bounds and was a loving and devoted husband for 63 years. Together they raised three children: Earl (Robye) Carrell of Portland, Wanda (Mike) Laird of Cypress, and Lynda (Curtis) Haveman also of Portland. He was blessed with seven grandchildren: Samantha (Jim) Purcell, Michael (Christina) Laird, J (Amanda) Carrell, Nicole (Matt) Johnson, Audra (Brad) Butler, Kellie (Jason) McAden, and Curt (Meghan) Haveman and blessed with five great-grandchildren.

Mr. Carrell Served in the United States Navy during World war II and received and honorable discharge in 1946. Mr. Carrell and his family moved to Portland in 1962 and he was a faithful member of First Baptist Church. He served as a deacon, Sunday school teacher, a regular greeter, and on various committees. Mr. Carrell took every opportunity to be helpful to his neighbors and shared Jesus with whomever he met.

Mr. Carrell was employed by Reynolds Metals Company and retired in 1984. He enjoyed family gatherings, fishing, gardening, mission trips, serving snow cones in Vacation Bilbe School, cooking chicken and dumplings, and making his famous peanut brittle.

Mr. Carrell will be missed by many loved ones and friends. However, they are assured to see him again in heaven.

Prayers for Michael's Family

Please pray with us for Michael's mom, Wanda, and her family. Her father (Michael's Paw Paw) has between hours and weeks to live. They are starting to make funeral arrangements and all the children are sitting down with their Mom tonight to make sure she understands the situation and is prepared. Thanks for your love and prayers.

Adoption Workshop

or what I like to call adoption orientation. It was last weekend and it was great! The Lord really confirmed for us that this is the direction He is leading. They were very upfront about worst case scenerios (the girl changing her mind, how long it might take, etc.) All of the social workers are so loving and committed to the children, birthmothers and adoptive couples. We have a mountain of paperwork to do - we are hoping to have it done by July. Then we will have our homestudy and hopefully be in the adoptive parent pool by August. They told us the average wait is over 1 year but it could be "2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years." You could tell that they don't want us to get our hopes up about this being a quick process. One the other hand, they placed 20 babies last year and currently only have 12 couples in the adoptive parent pool, so we'll see! Thanks so much for all your prayers.

And as a little side note - I passed my pharmacy technician exam on Wednesday! Yeah! That's one thing off my plate (and a little bit more money in the bank :))

Adoption Update

April 23rd and 24th we will be attending an adoption workshop. I'm not sure what all it will involve, but I'll let you know after we get back. This is the next step in our process. After that will be the home study. Michael's mom is coming up at the beginning of May to help us get the house ready. I'm sure there will be some more smaller steps along the way, but as far as the big stuff goes, after the home study we wait. Thanks for your prayers as we follow God's leading in this journey. We love you.

Family

I realized on this family vacation that good family are like good friends - it doesn't matter what length of time or what distance separate us, when we do finally get back together we just pick up where we left off. I was very blessed by time spent with family - the love, good feelings, encouragement, smiles, laughter and just time together were very nourishing to me.

I love and miss you all more than ever!

NEWS

I can't believe it's been a month since I've updated! Sorry, guys. Michael and I are on vacation with his family right now (more about that on another post). The news I wanted to share happened before vacation. Michael and I sent in our completed adoption application! They have already sent out stuff to all of our references. Once they get responses back from that we will have to go to a workshop and be certified as foster parents then we will have to have a home study. After that we pay the big bucks and wait, but all of that is in God's hands. We are already waiting and praying for our baby(s) and the birth mother (we don't know who she is yet, but God does) - and waititng and praying :) Thanks for joining us in the waiting and praying. Love you guys!

Encouragement in the midst of struggle

I just wanted to share with you today two very encouraging words of Scripture and the difficult passages they come in the midst of.

"The joy of the Lord is your strength."

This verse actually comes from Nememiah (not Psalms, like I thought.)
The people have returned from exile and the wall around the city has been completed. Ezra has gathered the people together and read to them the whole law. The people are mourning over their sin and weeping. This is when Nehemiah tells them, "Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Ch 8 verse 10 - In the midst of realizing their sin and disobedience the people are reminded that it is joy in their Lord that will provide them the strength to be obedient.

"This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."

I discovered the context of this verse when I decided it was high time I knew the "address" for this verse I was trying to get in the habit of repeating to myself every morning. It is from the Psalms - 118:24 This is one of the Psalms historians say was repeated during the Passover meal - it was probably used during the Last Supper when Jesus presided over the Passover meal with His disciples. This verse is preceded by two others vs. 22-23 "The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone. This was the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." Check out the rest of the Psalm and consider how amazing it is for our Lord to speak these words to His disciples fully knowing what they meant and declare rejoicing and gladness in the face of His impending crucifixion! Apparently the joy of the Lord was His strength also.

So rejoice in the Lord despite your circumstances today and rest in the strength that joy provides.

We're getting a roommate!

No, it's not inside pet, he's a real person. And it's all our parents fault! How could that be? We were both raised by parents who believed it was their job to minister to others with what God had given them - even their house. As elementary school girls, my sisters and I were blessed by the single women who lived in our extra bedroom. What a great influence and source of fun they were. As high school- and college-aged kids, Michael and his sister Kellie were able to experience sharing their home with both men and women who needed a place to live. We now have the opportunity to share in that legacy. A young couple in our church are engaged and planning to live in this area, but Tyler now lives about 2 hours away. He's been looking for housing and a job but hasn't found either yet. Well, now he has found one, I guess. He'll be moving in this weekend until they get married this summer. This will let him go ahead and move here and also save up money for when they get married. We are excited to have him here and we are excited for their upcoming marriage.