an update for anyone who happens to read this blog but is not someone I email

This is just a copy of some emails that I have sent recently updating family and friends on a really rough situation in our lives. I figure I'd record it here, too, just for posterity's sake.

5/20/09
I cannot remember if you were all included in the first e-mail I sent out concerning our church several months. Those of you who received the e-mail, your prayers and encouragement were needed and appreciated. The same and other issues have continued popping up their heads every time we seem to be making headway. At this point, I don’t even know if the people who are upset really know what they are upset about. For the second time in a couple of months, an individual has asked for Michael’s resignation. Michael, along with his mentor and our mother church, has decided to have the church take a “vote of confidence.” His main concern is for the health of the church. If they would be able to work through their issues and become strong and a light in the community better with out us, then we know that God will lead us somewhere else. The church will be voting on Sunday, May 24th, after our worship service. Michael and I will not stay for the vote. God has given us a peace no matter the vote, but please pray for the church. They were at the point of closing the doors 5 years ago, became a mission church of a healthy growing church in another city, and it now seems like they might fall apart again. There are many hurting families and individuals in our town who need to see the love of Jesus in action – I would hate for fighting in our church or the closing of its doors to negatively impact God’s work in our community. Thank you in advance for your prayers for us and our church.

6/6/09
I was talking to my Mom the other night telling her how much I was praying for the church but that I kept praying for myself, too, because I didn't want to be one of those people who could only point her finger at others and never see the log in my own eye. Well, God loves us so much that He will show us the logs in our own eyes. One of my friends who is also a member at Columbus told me about the church service they had had on our first Sunday gone. At the end of the service the two families that had been causing so much conflict publicly repented and reconciled! This is what we have been praying for! She told me the story with so much joy and excitement about what God might be starting and she thought it was important to tell me because she new that we had said that if it took us leaving for God to be able to move in the church then that is what we wanted. She left with a smile on her face and I stewed the rest of the day. I spent about 12 hours mad at God. I was angry. I mourned over what God was rejoicing over (repentance and reconciliation) and was rejoicing over what makes God mourn (I felt a little better after spewing my anger and bitterness in Michael's face). After I exploded I basically cried off an on for about two hours. As I numbly went about paying bills I came across a little book that I had "randomly" been carrying around in my purse for weeks, "The Sovereignty of God" by Kay Arthur. God used the truths in that book to calm my heart. I can now say that my spirit is submitted, even though I still don't understand. This is still a daily struggle. God showed me my own self-centeredness; I either prayed a prayer I didn't mean or I didn't think He would answer it or I only wanted Him to answer it on my terms. How messed up is that? I was more concerned about Michael's ministry being justified by the church floundering and suffering without him than I was about God actually working and being glorified in His church. It looks like our church is on the road to recovery, but it's not our church anymore. We are still trying to figure out where God wants us to be and what He wants us to be doing. We are taking it day by day and trusting God to show us what He has for us, but it's kind of scary and there are a lot of unanswered questions about our future. Thanks for your prayers. Oppinions and emotions expressed in this e-mail are those of Christina and should not be assumed to be those of Michael :)

6/11/09
Well, everyone, I wanted to give you all another fquick update. It's not a huge thing, pretty small really, but a big step, too. Sunday morning I woke up and almost the first thing I thought of was to pray for Columbus Baptist - and I was able to do it with a smile on my face. So, maybe I should have said "the first thing the Lord brought to my mind was. . ." We seem to be on a fairly OK path of Michael looking for "regular" work while we seek the Lord to see what He has for us next. Things are pretty even mostly, but I have to admit it was hard to hear about how well VBS has been going this week, it's hard when people come up and say they miss us, it was hard when I got a letter yesterday from a woman (who probably didn't vote "for" Michael) saying she missed my friendship and didn't want things to turn out this way and was praying for us. God uses Michael in ways he will never know (except that he'll get this email, too) to calm me and put my mind, if not totally back where it should be, then at least to take it off of where it shouldn't be. A specific prayer request that I have is that I would know how to respond to this woman. I miss her, too, but at the same time things in our friendship never really got below just surface stuff. I don't want to go ahead of God in this.

Harley Eugene Carrell

Harley Eugene Carrell passed away Wednesday, May 13, 2009 in Corpus Christi, Texas at the age of 82.

Mr. Carrell was born in Woodville, Oklahoma on August 20, 1926. His parents were Ben E. and Louisa (Wingo) Carrell. He was preceded in death by his parents and six siblings. Harley was married to Ruby Louise Bounds and was a loving and devoted husband for 63 years. Together they raised three children: Earl (Robye) Carrell of Portland, Wanda (Mike) Laird of Cypress, and Lynda (Curtis) Haveman also of Portland. He was blessed with seven grandchildren: Samantha (Jim) Purcell, Michael (Christina) Laird, J (Amanda) Carrell, Nicole (Matt) Johnson, Audra (Brad) Butler, Kellie (Jason) McAden, and Curt (Meghan) Haveman and blessed with five great-grandchildren.

Mr. Carrell Served in the United States Navy during World war II and received and honorable discharge in 1946. Mr. Carrell and his family moved to Portland in 1962 and he was a faithful member of First Baptist Church. He served as a deacon, Sunday school teacher, a regular greeter, and on various committees. Mr. Carrell took every opportunity to be helpful to his neighbors and shared Jesus with whomever he met.

Mr. Carrell was employed by Reynolds Metals Company and retired in 1984. He enjoyed family gatherings, fishing, gardening, mission trips, serving snow cones in Vacation Bilbe School, cooking chicken and dumplings, and making his famous peanut brittle.

Mr. Carrell will be missed by many loved ones and friends. However, they are assured to see him again in heaven.

Prayers for Michael's Family

Please pray with us for Michael's mom, Wanda, and her family. Her father (Michael's Paw Paw) has between hours and weeks to live. They are starting to make funeral arrangements and all the children are sitting down with their Mom tonight to make sure she understands the situation and is prepared. Thanks for your love and prayers.

Adoption Workshop

or what I like to call adoption orientation. It was last weekend and it was great! The Lord really confirmed for us that this is the direction He is leading. They were very upfront about worst case scenerios (the girl changing her mind, how long it might take, etc.) All of the social workers are so loving and committed to the children, birthmothers and adoptive couples. We have a mountain of paperwork to do - we are hoping to have it done by July. Then we will have our homestudy and hopefully be in the adoptive parent pool by August. They told us the average wait is over 1 year but it could be "2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years." You could tell that they don't want us to get our hopes up about this being a quick process. One the other hand, they placed 20 babies last year and currently only have 12 couples in the adoptive parent pool, so we'll see! Thanks so much for all your prayers.

And as a little side note - I passed my pharmacy technician exam on Wednesday! Yeah! That's one thing off my plate (and a little bit more money in the bank :))

Adoption Update

April 23rd and 24th we will be attending an adoption workshop. I'm not sure what all it will involve, but I'll let you know after we get back. This is the next step in our process. After that will be the home study. Michael's mom is coming up at the beginning of May to help us get the house ready. I'm sure there will be some more smaller steps along the way, but as far as the big stuff goes, after the home study we wait. Thanks for your prayers as we follow God's leading in this journey. We love you.

Family

I realized on this family vacation that good family are like good friends - it doesn't matter what length of time or what distance separate us, when we do finally get back together we just pick up where we left off. I was very blessed by time spent with family - the love, good feelings, encouragement, smiles, laughter and just time together were very nourishing to me.

I love and miss you all more than ever!

NEWS

I can't believe it's been a month since I've updated! Sorry, guys. Michael and I are on vacation with his family right now (more about that on another post). The news I wanted to share happened before vacation. Michael and I sent in our completed adoption application! They have already sent out stuff to all of our references. Once they get responses back from that we will have to go to a workshop and be certified as foster parents then we will have to have a home study. After that we pay the big bucks and wait, but all of that is in God's hands. We are already waiting and praying for our baby(s) and the birth mother (we don't know who she is yet, but God does) - and waititng and praying :) Thanks for joining us in the waiting and praying. Love you guys!